Lepomis Gibbosus: Pumpkinseed Sunfish
Master Provers: Sally Williams and Patricia Maher
“If you walked up to 100 anglers at random and asked them what the first fish they ever caught was, probably 88 of them would tell you it was a sunfish of some sort. Sunnies are easy fish to catch, especially with a fly rod. Anyone capable of tying a knot and holding a rod can catch them in seemingly limitless numbers during the course of an afternoon. These can be achingly beautiful fish. Pumpkinseeds are probably the most colorful fish native to North American waters, and just holding one in the sunshine and admiring its colors is a worthwhile endeavor. They're like living works of psychedelic art.”
John Likakis - former editor of American Angler and Warmwater Fly-Fishing
The Same as Sunfish
“It’s not like catching sunfish”,
my grandfather warned me the night before.
And so it isn’t-or so it hasn’t been,
except for when it is exactly the same
as catching sunfish.
Anthony Naples - Poet
Natural History:
Scientific Name: Lepomis Gibbosus; Lepomis means bream: flesh of various freshwater fishes of North America or of Europe. Gibbosus derives from the Latin gibb(er)ōsus (hunch backed).
Family:Centrarchidae
Order: Perciformes
Length: Usually about 6-8 inches
Weight: Usually less than 1 lb. (World record is 1 lb. 6 oz.)
Coloring: Sides speckled with orange, yellow, blue, and emerald spots; breast and belly orange to orange-red
Common Names: Pumpkinseed sunfish, yellow sunfish, common sunfish, round sunfish, bream, sun bass, punky, pond perch, and simply sunfish or "sunny".
Location: A fresh water fish native to northeastern North America, from New Brunswick to South Carolina and is the most widely distributed and abundant sunfish in New York. It has been introduced elsewhere in North America, in particular the Great Lakes region as well as throughout much of Europe where it is considered an invasive species. It was introduced to Europe mainly by aquarists who considered the pumpkinseed an ornamental fish due to their beautiful coloring.
Colorful, abundant, and easy to catch: Pumpkinseeds are tremendously popular with anglers of all ages. They have a wide natural range and are native to all areas of the Great Lakes.
Identification: Part of the sunfish family, the Pumpkinseed is a very deep-bodied, laterally compressed, almost disk-like fish. They’re one of the most colorful fresh water fish, breeding males especially so. The fish’s breast and belly are orange to red-orange, and its back and sides are brown to olive. Its sides and back are speckled with orange, yellow, blue, and emerald spots. As with all centrarchids, they have sharp spines in the dorsal and anal fins.
Habitat: Pumpkinseeds can be found in shallow, cool to moderately warm water. They are most prevalent in small lakes and ponds or weedy bays of larger lakes. Preferring cover of some type, such as aquatic vegetation or submerged brush, they are seldom found in open water. Ideal water temperatures range from 75 to 89 degrees F. Pumpkinseeds are more tolerant of low oxygen levels than bluegills are, but less tolerant of warm water. Groups of young fish school close to shore, but adults tend to travel in groups of 2-4 in slightly deeper yet still covered waters. Pumpkinseeds are active throughout the day, but they rest at night near the bottom or in protected areas in rocks or near submerged logs. Some Pumpkinseeds have shown a strong instinct for a home range. When captured fish were marked and released in a different part of the lake, a significant percentage of them returned to their original location.
Life Cycle: These fish reproduce rapidly and are low on the food chain. They eat a variety of insects, including mosquito larvae, along with small mollusks and crustaceans. They also feed on smaller fish, including smaller pumpkinseeds. In the shallow areas of which they are typical, the fish exploit the entire water column from the bottom to surface. In turn, they provide food for birds and mammals (including humans). When water temperatures reach 55-63 degrees F (late spring or early summer), male pumpkinseeds start to build nests to spawn. Spawning sites are generally in shallow water from 6 inches to several feet deep on sand or gravel bottoms. The males use their caudal fins to sweep out shallow, saucer-shaped depressions about twice the length of the fish in diameter (about 4 to 15 inches). The fish remove larger objects like rocks by pulling them out with their mouths. Nests are built in colonies of 3 to 15 nest sites. Sometimes Pumpkinseeds build nests in bluegill nest colonies, and the two species will interbreed. Males vigorously defend their nests with typical sunfish aggressive behavior—spreading their gills, charging, biting (watch your toes!), chasing, and, rarely, mouth-fighting.
Females arrive after the nests are completed, coming in from deeper waters. At first the females appear to be chased away from the nest by the males, but after a considerable amount of chasing, the females head toward the nest instead of away from it. Once the female is in the nest, the pair swims in circles side by side, with the bellies of both fish touching. The male then releases milt and the female releases eggs. Females may spawn in more than one nest, and more than one female may use the same nest. Sometimes more than one female will spawn with a male simultaneously. Females produce 1,500 to 1,700 eggs, depending on their size and age.
The small eggs stick to gravel, sand, or debris in the nest, and they hatch in as little as three days at 82.4 degrees F. Females leave the nest immediately after spawning, but males remain and are highly protective, guarding the eggs and fanning them. The newly hatched young are minute and transparent, for some time only the eyes are visible. The male guards them for about the first 11 days, returning them to the nest in his mouth if they try to stray. The males continue to guard the offspring, herding them into a ball-like cloud. After a week or two, the young gain sufficient energy and maintaining the order of the cloud becomes impossible at which point the offspring disperse and the male departs the nest. Fathers may even nip at people’s hands or feet that come close to their nests.
The young fish stay on or near the shallow breeding area and grow to about 2 inches in their first year. Sexual maturity is usually achieved by age 2. Pumpkinseeds have lived to be 12 years old in captivity, but in nature most do not exceed 6-8 years old.
Defense: The Pumpkinseed sunfish has adapted in many ways to the surroundings that it lives in. The pattern on its skin allows them to be camouflaged within the vegetation and resemble the sunlight patterns that reflect on the ponds, lakes and river beds. This clever fish has also developed a specific method of protection. Along the dorsal fin, there are ten to eleven spines, and three on the anal fin. All of these are very sharp which help against predators.
Another adaptation is the Pumpkinseed’s ability to anticipate approaching predators (or prey) by detecting changes or movements in the water using different mechanical receptors.
The bright colored gills also serve as a method of protection and dominance. When a pumpkinseed feels threatened by predators, the Pumpkinseed will flare their gills to make them seem larger in size, but also to emphasis the red coloration.
Place in the Ecosystem: Pumpkinseeds eat a diverse diet of small prey, such as insects, insect larvae, mollusks, snails and other crustaceans, and small fish. They are effective at destroying mosquito larvae. They feed at all water levels from the surface to the bottom, and they feed throughout the day, with heaviest feeding during the afternoon. All fish that eat other fish will eat pumpkinseeds, and large pumpkinseeds will eat smaller pumpkinseeds. Because they tend to spend so much time in shallow water, they’re also eaten by cormorants, mergansers, and herons. Pumpkinseeds are accustomed to being low on the food chain, so they reproduce rapidly. However, this means that without pressure from predators they reproduce so rapidly that there isn’t enough food and habitat for all of the fish to grow large. This can cause populations of stunted fish. Pumpkinseeds will hybridize with most other Lepomis, especially with bluegill and green sunfish. The result is unusually fast-growing, sterile male hybrids.
Human activities can also have an impact on pumpkinseed populations. Shoreline development can destroy pumpkinseed spawning grounds, and increased silt from shoreline erosion can cover spawning sites with sand, disrupting spawning activities. Heavy lake use can also stir up water and disrupt spawning activities.
Fishing: Because they tend to remain in the shallows and feed all day, pumpkinseeds are relatively easy to catch from shore. Pumpkinseeds bite voraciously on nearly any type of natural bait—including garden worms, insects, leeches, or bits of fish. They will also take small artificial lures and can be fished for with a fly rod with wet flies or dry flies. They will also hit at grubs early in the winter but are less active from mid- to late winter. They may be easy to catch and popular with the youngest anglers, but pumpkinseeds are often sought by adults as well. The fish do put up an aggressive fight on line, and they have an excellent flavor and are low in fat and high in protein.
www.wikipedia.org
www.fish.dnr.cornell.edu
www.nobanis.org
www.nas.er.usgs.gov
www.jstor.org/pss/4533067
http://bioweb.uwlax.edu/bio203/2010/blackwoo_sama/index.htm
http://seagrant.wisc.edu/greatlakesfish/fpumpkinseed.html
Scientific Name: Lepomis Gibbosus; Lepomis means bream: flesh of various freshwater fishes of North America or of Europe. Gibbosus derives from the Latin gibb(er)ōsus (hunch backed).
Family:Centrarchidae
Order: Perciformes
Length: Usually about 6-8 inches
Weight: Usually less than 1 lb. (World record is 1 lb. 6 oz.)
Coloring: Sides speckled with orange, yellow, blue, and emerald spots; breast and belly orange to orange-red
Common Names: Pumpkinseed sunfish, yellow sunfish, common sunfish, round sunfish, bream, sun bass, punky, pond perch, and simply sunfish or "sunny".
Location: A fresh water fish native to northeastern North America, from New Brunswick to South Carolina and is the most widely distributed and abundant sunfish in New York. It has been introduced elsewhere in North America, in particular the Great Lakes region as well as throughout much of Europe where it is considered an invasive species. It was introduced to Europe mainly by aquarists who considered the pumpkinseed an ornamental fish due to their beautiful coloring.
Colorful, abundant, and easy to catch: Pumpkinseeds are tremendously popular with anglers of all ages. They have a wide natural range and are native to all areas of the Great Lakes.
Identification: Part of the sunfish family, the Pumpkinseed is a very deep-bodied, laterally compressed, almost disk-like fish. They’re one of the most colorful fresh water fish, breeding males especially so. The fish’s breast and belly are orange to red-orange, and its back and sides are brown to olive. Its sides and back are speckled with orange, yellow, blue, and emerald spots. As with all centrarchids, they have sharp spines in the dorsal and anal fins.
Habitat: Pumpkinseeds can be found in shallow, cool to moderately warm water. They are most prevalent in small lakes and ponds or weedy bays of larger lakes. Preferring cover of some type, such as aquatic vegetation or submerged brush, they are seldom found in open water. Ideal water temperatures range from 75 to 89 degrees F. Pumpkinseeds are more tolerant of low oxygen levels than bluegills are, but less tolerant of warm water. Groups of young fish school close to shore, but adults tend to travel in groups of 2-4 in slightly deeper yet still covered waters. Pumpkinseeds are active throughout the day, but they rest at night near the bottom or in protected areas in rocks or near submerged logs. Some Pumpkinseeds have shown a strong instinct for a home range. When captured fish were marked and released in a different part of the lake, a significant percentage of them returned to their original location.
Life Cycle: These fish reproduce rapidly and are low on the food chain. They eat a variety of insects, including mosquito larvae, along with small mollusks and crustaceans. They also feed on smaller fish, including smaller pumpkinseeds. In the shallow areas of which they are typical, the fish exploit the entire water column from the bottom to surface. In turn, they provide food for birds and mammals (including humans). When water temperatures reach 55-63 degrees F (late spring or early summer), male pumpkinseeds start to build nests to spawn. Spawning sites are generally in shallow water from 6 inches to several feet deep on sand or gravel bottoms. The males use their caudal fins to sweep out shallow, saucer-shaped depressions about twice the length of the fish in diameter (about 4 to 15 inches). The fish remove larger objects like rocks by pulling them out with their mouths. Nests are built in colonies of 3 to 15 nest sites. Sometimes Pumpkinseeds build nests in bluegill nest colonies, and the two species will interbreed. Males vigorously defend their nests with typical sunfish aggressive behavior—spreading their gills, charging, biting (watch your toes!), chasing, and, rarely, mouth-fighting.
Females arrive after the nests are completed, coming in from deeper waters. At first the females appear to be chased away from the nest by the males, but after a considerable amount of chasing, the females head toward the nest instead of away from it. Once the female is in the nest, the pair swims in circles side by side, with the bellies of both fish touching. The male then releases milt and the female releases eggs. Females may spawn in more than one nest, and more than one female may use the same nest. Sometimes more than one female will spawn with a male simultaneously. Females produce 1,500 to 1,700 eggs, depending on their size and age.
The small eggs stick to gravel, sand, or debris in the nest, and they hatch in as little as three days at 82.4 degrees F. Females leave the nest immediately after spawning, but males remain and are highly protective, guarding the eggs and fanning them. The newly hatched young are minute and transparent, for some time only the eyes are visible. The male guards them for about the first 11 days, returning them to the nest in his mouth if they try to stray. The males continue to guard the offspring, herding them into a ball-like cloud. After a week or two, the young gain sufficient energy and maintaining the order of the cloud becomes impossible at which point the offspring disperse and the male departs the nest. Fathers may even nip at people’s hands or feet that come close to their nests.
The young fish stay on or near the shallow breeding area and grow to about 2 inches in their first year. Sexual maturity is usually achieved by age 2. Pumpkinseeds have lived to be 12 years old in captivity, but in nature most do not exceed 6-8 years old.
Defense: The Pumpkinseed sunfish has adapted in many ways to the surroundings that it lives in. The pattern on its skin allows them to be camouflaged within the vegetation and resemble the sunlight patterns that reflect on the ponds, lakes and river beds. This clever fish has also developed a specific method of protection. Along the dorsal fin, there are ten to eleven spines, and three on the anal fin. All of these are very sharp which help against predators.
Another adaptation is the Pumpkinseed’s ability to anticipate approaching predators (or prey) by detecting changes or movements in the water using different mechanical receptors.
The bright colored gills also serve as a method of protection and dominance. When a pumpkinseed feels threatened by predators, the Pumpkinseed will flare their gills to make them seem larger in size, but also to emphasis the red coloration.
Place in the Ecosystem: Pumpkinseeds eat a diverse diet of small prey, such as insects, insect larvae, mollusks, snails and other crustaceans, and small fish. They are effective at destroying mosquito larvae. They feed at all water levels from the surface to the bottom, and they feed throughout the day, with heaviest feeding during the afternoon. All fish that eat other fish will eat pumpkinseeds, and large pumpkinseeds will eat smaller pumpkinseeds. Because they tend to spend so much time in shallow water, they’re also eaten by cormorants, mergansers, and herons. Pumpkinseeds are accustomed to being low on the food chain, so they reproduce rapidly. However, this means that without pressure from predators they reproduce so rapidly that there isn’t enough food and habitat for all of the fish to grow large. This can cause populations of stunted fish. Pumpkinseeds will hybridize with most other Lepomis, especially with bluegill and green sunfish. The result is unusually fast-growing, sterile male hybrids.
Human activities can also have an impact on pumpkinseed populations. Shoreline development can destroy pumpkinseed spawning grounds, and increased silt from shoreline erosion can cover spawning sites with sand, disrupting spawning activities. Heavy lake use can also stir up water and disrupt spawning activities.
Fishing: Because they tend to remain in the shallows and feed all day, pumpkinseeds are relatively easy to catch from shore. Pumpkinseeds bite voraciously on nearly any type of natural bait—including garden worms, insects, leeches, or bits of fish. They will also take small artificial lures and can be fished for with a fly rod with wet flies or dry flies. They will also hit at grubs early in the winter but are less active from mid- to late winter. They may be easy to catch and popular with the youngest anglers, but pumpkinseeds are often sought by adults as well. The fish do put up an aggressive fight on line, and they have an excellent flavor and are low in fat and high in protein.
www.wikipedia.org
www.fish.dnr.cornell.edu
www.nobanis.org
www.nas.er.usgs.gov
www.jstor.org/pss/4533067
http://bioweb.uwlax.edu/bio203/2010/blackwoo_sama/index.htm
http://seagrant.wisc.edu/greatlakesfish/fpumpkinseed.html
Proving
The pumpkinseed sunfish was caught in a freshwater pond in Montour Falls, New York, USA. Parts used in the trituration were fin, scale, skin, flesh and blood. June 27, 2010 Buffalo NY.
Commentary:
During the trituration proving, the group was very giddy, laughing and joking. Even though provers expressed some violent tendencies and intolerance of each other, as the trituration continued, the group laughed and was light-hearted about it. One prover punched another impulsively and both broke out in laughter. The conversations and drawings were of stabbing, punching, fish with large teeth, an octopus destroying a submarine, fights, and battles, but the general mood around it was light. Though the provers seemed intolerant of each other at times, everyone had “sunny” dispositions.
The proving also reflects a strong dynamic of connection and disconnection within the group of provers. There was a strong desire to be connected to a group and work as a group, and, conversely a feeling of being disconnected or left out. This theme is borne out in the full two weeks of the proving and especially in the dreams. During the trituration one prover had the sensation of being in another room separated from the rest. The feeling of being disconnected because of distortions in hearing and an inability to communicate well or understand what others were saying was quite pronounced.
Sally has a successfully prescribed this remedy for an Alzheimer’s case where the client had a very “sunny” and kind disposition. Everyone around her would remark on what a sweet and lovely person she was. However, her daughter related that her mother had been extremely cruel to her and her siblings during their childhoods. Her mother had high expectations and would “punish them with a belt with a smile on her face”.
Louis Klein teaches that cannibalistic fish may very well be good remedies for Alzheimer’s and other disorders of the brain. Fish are well known as “brain food” due to a high content of omega-3 oils, but that is not the only reason for this association. Cannibalism is quite prevalent amoung fish and the connection between prion diseases and cannibalism is well known (e.g. kuru-kuru, mad cow and chronic wasting disease). Some researchers also postulate a connection between prion diseases and other kinds of brain pathology such as Alzheimers and Parkinson's because of the similarities in brain protein malformation. In this particular remedy, the mental symptoms of Alzheimer’s and similar brain disorders are present, in particular the difficulties in memory, concentration, speaking, and comprehending language. The remedy's unique quality is - hidden cruelty masked by a “sunny” disposition.
Five provers ages 20 to 55. Three females and two males.
Proving code: Prover, trituration potency (C1, 2 or 3).
Prover, day.
Mind:
Frustration/Intolerance/Irritability:
4:C2 Intolerance of the other provers. Irritation during the trituration.
4:C3 Intolerant of one of the provers, when she talks about anything serious all I can think is “just shut the fuck up”
3:1 I have lots of meeting and errands and I just want to rest and watch a movie. Feeling intolerant of my husband. He is asking e questions and I said don’t ask me questions. Shut up!!!
1:2 Normal routine in the morning, but I went to the NFTA for 2 hours before work. Got everything I needed for work, but when I came back to get my bike I had to wait outside the store because it wasn’t open yet. The bike was fixed, but the inner tube that I got was punctured when I got it. I got another and that one exploded. It was really frustrating because I just want my bike running again.
3:2 Really intolerant of clients. My assistant told me that one of my clients said she was doing well and should she cancel her appointment and I said I do not give a fuck she can do what she wants. REALLY unusual for me!
3:2 Really intolerant of questions. Don’t want to be disturbed.
4:2 I am also finding myself intolerant of people, and it is becoming a pattern of people who are self-centered martyrs! My patience is kind of short too, but not in a get mad, blow up kind of way, I just don’t want to hear it, I find myself thinking a lot, oooo shut up already! Or jeeeeezuz Christ are you serious?
2:3 I have a kink in my neck and I feel irritable and mildly emotionless, with no real motivation to do anything let alone something productive. The mere act of writing this journal has made me irritable.
4:3 I am more intolerant today, and a little more emotional about it but not vocal still. I do not want to talk to anyone, I will sit with them in the room but to engage in conversation is hard, I just don’t want to hear it and it is hard to fake it! I feel emotionless, unless it is intolerance, I can feel the emotion inside but I feel like it won’t come out.
3:4 This morning while I was taking a shower I was thinking about how these provings are such a group effort. How if one person does not carry his weight it effects the whole proving. I am feeling angry that J. may not be doing the work it takes to make this successful. Then I thought about how intolerant I was of D. and how she was the weakest link and how she could not put her stuff aside to make this successful.
4:4 I do not want to be social with anyone and it is hard to fake a smile. We are leaving for vacation tomorrow and I am ready to go! I am ready to get out of my surroundings. For the past 4 days I have not really been emotional at all, even with the intolerance. I don’t want to hear it, I don’t have anything to say, but on the inside all I have been thinking when I do get intolerant is SHUT UP! Or I get very fed up and just do what I need to do and not talk. I feel lackadaisical about everything.
1:6 The day was pretty brutal. It was extremely hot and I was working on very little sleep, so I was tired and cranky at work.
1:7 I went to a party tonight for the fourth of July, but showed up really late because the car I was in got in a fender bender at a gas station. This was pretty annoying because the guy whose car was hit refused to just get the information and insisted on calling the police. We waited for about two hours, but because it was the fourth of July, they never came.
1:8 The night was all right, I was in a bad mood by the end of it, not positive why, I just may have been tired and a little ready to go to bed.
4:8 Intolerance has turned to impatience. Not explosive impatience. Impatience like no one is doing anything right and I will just do it by myself to get it done right.
1:14 Some friends joined us for the movie, but generally we all just chilled around the house. I was a little annoyed when everyone else started hanging around us and watching the movie.
Accepting/Relaxed/Indifferent:
5:C2 Sitting back, taking in whole group and conversation.
5:C2 Went form very silly, laughing to really laid back, relaxed.
1:2 Pretty bored at work due to all the filing. I ended up smoking a little bit of weed and worked out. Afterward I hung out with J. and some friends. We called it a night and went to bed.
4:2 I am really feeling like I just don’t care… and I don’t want to even express anything… my partner and I were driving home from the meeting and she was stating her concerns about some stuff that was said at the meeting and I didn’t even care to respond, I was silent, just sat there. I feel like I can’t find my emotions… any other time I woulda been all worked up and talking and bitching about what she was saying and this time, I just can’t even find that. So we drove in silence
4:3 I am zoney still, very spacey, very blasé about pretty much everything… I am normally a laid back person/personality, but I feel extremely laid back all the time.
1:4 I started to house sit today. I am going to take care of two dogs and two cats while staying in the house. So, I stayed there and everything was nice. Quiet household and I spent the night just hanging around the house relaxed.
3:4 Really good day at work. Really busy, but took my time and did not feel pressure. I thought you know if I do not get the remedy I can just chill out and it will come to me. In fact I was so relaxed I let a client go over by a half hour while another client was waiting. Felt like things were easy and flowing……..one client into the next.
5:4 Overall calmness where I’m not racing to get jobs done.
3:6 It is a very beautiful day and I am feeling so relaxed and appreciative. My life, my home, the weather, my kids, my friends…………
1:7 I woke up and did the normal with the dogs, then went back to sleep until about noon. I barbecued with some friends at three and just hung out in the hot tub and back porch all day until I had to take care of the dogs. A nice relaxing day!
5:10 Mild tempered – not too much bothering me – feel pretty at ease.
5:10 Feel shaky – hurried when things get busy at work – nervous feeling, but more relaxed in the sense that I don’t worry if things don’t get done.
5:11 Lacking determination – hard to get moving at anything – not even sure what I want to get started with.
Communication/Comprehension/Concentration:
4:C1 Trouble with articulation.
2:C2 Head like an empty bubble – was going to say something but can’t remember what.
4:1 People are talking to me and I know the words, but I don’t understand what they are saying, I have to ask anyone talking to me to repeat themselves.
4:1 Having trouble remembering what I am doing… start something and drift off to do something else, staying on task is difficult.
4:1 Small things like alphabetizing files are a chore and takes a lot of focus.
5:1 Head feels like its “swimming”
5:1 Feel scattered and unorganized.
5:2 Noon – Absentminded – pressing the unlock button on my car keys when I was actually going to be riding in someone else’s car!!
4:2 I am asking people to repeat themselves a lot, I hear the words but they are totally different from what is being said. I am finding it hard to explain things as well… get thoughts out… I go to say something and I stop because I can’t find the words even though I have a loose grip of what I want to say.
4:2 I am not big on conversation or engaging anyone in conversation, I would much rather sit in silence, and my brain is blank, not much going on in there!
5:3 Discombobulated – have to consciously think about what I need to do at work.
5:3 Very scattered, delayed reaction with jobs that I do recurrently.
5:3 Still thirsty, tongue thick, seems like I mix up words when speaking (thinking of two different ways to say something and it inevitably comes out wrong)!!
4:4 We went shopping and I couldn’t really stay on track of what we needed to do. While we were at the store I felt like I was wandering aimlessly and L. had to keep me on track.
4:4 I am very unorganized. It isn’t until these past couples days, but especially today that I realized how organized I am because I have been such a scatter brain and unorganized that I am driving myself crazy! Tasks are still a challenge.
4:6 We spent the day getting our stuff together and getting to the beach house. We went grocery shopping and even though I was wandering around I could focus on what the task was.
5:5 Mixing up letters of words so that statements come out wrong!! (embarrassing).
3:7 Woke up great. It was the 4th of July and my husband and I went to Ellicottville for the day. I was having a hard time understanding him all day. When we were at brunch I asked him if he wanted anything to drink he said yes a “Vodka” , when the waitress came by I said “I would like a Mimosa and he would like a vodka”. My husband said “what?? I wanted ice water!” Then later we were at a store and I said “what ya looking at”……..I thought he said “toasters”, but he said “posters”! It was like that all day. I was constantly not hearing him and saying WHAT?? And when I did hear him, I heard him wrong.
3:9 Work is busy and that is good, but I am very distracted. I feel like my articulation is off. I speak and the other person is asking what?? What?? I get kind of annoyed and just say forget it.
5:10 Forgetful – left my work keys at home (I never do that)!! Walked into the office to get a book I needed and walked back out without it. Oblivious.
4 pm……..More absentmindedness – caught myself putting my turning signal on in the car just to go around a curve????? Driving along in 4th gear – not even thinking to put it in 5th when it should be???
5:11 Forgetful – can’t remember things from minute to minute.
5:11 Very scattered “air head” feeling. NOON: Feel like there is a delayed reaction with everything – it takes a minute for things to register in my brain!!
5:12 Scattered – can’t manage things the way I usually do. Have to think about which direction I’m headed in the grocery store. Less worried about time or being late for things.
5:14 Hard to focus and pay attention – my thoughts are scattered and jumping from one thing to the next.
Group/Connection/Separation:
5:C1 Feel removed from the crowd though here and part of it, like an outsider looking in, like looking through a window.
1:C2 Singing the Wall by Pink Floyd (all in all your just another brick in the wall).
1:C2 Group solidarity.
1:C2 How groups function, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. 4-1=3 but by working together it=6. Working in a group some tasks can only be done by a group. Example, passing buckets to put out a fire instead of running back and forth to the river.
1:C2 Getting a urge to play rugby right now.
1:C2 The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
3:C2 All in all were just another brick in the wall.
4:1 I feel very disconnected from my body, like it is functioning on pure instinct of how to do things, how to walk, how to use a computer, how to pick up keys, how to do daily routine things
4:2 I had to go to a meeting last night and found myself sitting in the middle of the room but not really caring what was going on around me… I didn’t want to be talked to or have to talk… this is a group of women I am usually very outgoing with… I laughed when someone was funny but kind of felt like I wasn’t really there.
3:3 I slept well, dreamt that my children were very young and my husband took them to run errands, they were only supposed to be gone for a little while, but they were gone all day. There was a festival going on outside our home and I was waiting and waiting for the boys to return. They did not get back until the festival was over. I was disappointed and was yelling at my husband “Where were you all day! Why didn’t you come home! I have been waiting all day!” I turn and look at my son whose eyes were filling with tears and I say “Awwwww do not cry I am not mad”. But I felt left out.
3:4 This morning while I was taking a shower I was thinking about how these provings are such a group effort. How if one person does not carry his weight it effects the whole proving. I am feeling angry that J. may not be doing the work it takes to make this successful. Then I thought about how intolerant I was of D. and how she was the weakest link and how she could not put her stuff aside to make this successful.
3:4 I came home and asked my son to mow the lawn. He gave me crap “Now??……Do I HAVE to???” I said no problem I’ll do it. I wasn’t mad or upset. I just went out and did it. I felt like, wow too bad he feels like that, he is missing out, missing out on helping to get this thing done. It is SO much fun to do things together.
3:4 I slept well last night and dreamt that I was talking to my family via Skype but instead of a computer it was an old fashion TV with rabbit ears and the image was in black and white. I had a feeling of being separated from them not just by space, but by time as well.
3:5 Got home and sat on the porch with friends and ate and drank until 9. I had a lot of fun. I am feeling like my life is really good. That I am part of this neighborhood. As long as I do not talk about anything that means anything to me, everyone is ok!
4: 4 I noticed tonight as well that I am very clingy, I want to have my arms wrapped around her and her arms wrapped around me all the time. I just want to nestle into her chest. When I get “wandery” and drift off, I found myself looking for her and wanting to cling to her.
4:6 Now that I think about I am still not feeling very social. I am not being unsocial, but I am not going out of my way to engage anyone.
5:6 Not feeling very social – making conversation is an effort – feel disconnected.
3:8 Today is the holiday and we just worked on the house. I have been loving working together with my husband on projects. It is a great way to spend time together. The weather has been wonderful.
3:10 I am having lots of fun dreams. Dreams of working together with my husband and the boys. Accomplishing things together.
3:12 Nothing much today. Except there is a box in the foyer that has TEAM on the side spelled out like this;
T Together
E Each
A Accomplishes
M More
I have been drawn to it. That is how I have felt at times during this proving, like together we can accomplish more, with a sense of happiness and joy.
But also there is a feeling of being separated and left out. Feeling outside of things that I want to be a part of.
Spacey/Druggy/Slowness/Poor Comprehension:
1:C1 A lot of laughing/giggling, everyone acting is acting high.
1:C1 Trippy, lots of laughter.
3:C1 Slowness, comprehension is slow.
3:C1 Feeling slow, like I have a slowness comprehending. Then its like whatever. I don’t care. Spacey, fuzzy
4:C1 Clarity though a spacey feeling.
4:C1 Taking lots of concentration.
4:C1 Feel like I am tripping in acid.
4:C1 Slowness to comprehend, very drug like state, like coming down from a “high” or “trip”.
5:C1 Here but not here, not catching it [the discussion]; not seeing clearly.
4:C1 Trouble with articulating speech, words coming out empty like a cartoon bubble. “Ditzy”
5:C1 Spacey feeling, like not catching everything.
5:C1 Hard to pinpoint anything.
5:C1 Spacey - hear what’s going on but hard to comprehend. Hearing background, but kind of like an outside observer.
5:C1 Feel have to concentrate hard to do something simple.
5:C1 Feel oblivious, drugged, things happening around you.
5:C1 Moving in slow motion.
5:C1 Comprehension difficulties – has to be focused on grinding but can’t really hear what is going on, as if in a different room. Hard to focus on doing one thing. Feels oblivious, drugged. Like coming down off of a high.
2:C2 Head like an empty bubble – was going to say something but can’t remember what.
3:C2 Language and communication from pronunciation.
4:C2 Sensation of blank cartoon bubble again. Enough in my mind to keep my mind busy but not enough of significance to be able to be formed into words by my mouth.
5:C2 Everything feels like an effort.
5:C2 Staring.
5:C2 Delayed reaction.
5:C2 Zoney, hard to focus and concentrate.
5:C2 Slow reactions.
5:C2 Drunken feeling.
5:C2 Hard to navigate.
1:C3 Feeling kind of dazed now.
1:C3 Story of a roommate that has no depth perception.
1:C3 3-D TV
2:C3 Auditory processing is off, misunderstanding words.
3:C3 Nicole - hajaka? What did she say? That is how I am hearing words.
4:C3 Everything is feel is very drug related, like form mushrooms, coming down for a mushroom high.
4:C3 Nausea, like coming off of mushrooms. “wonder if the remedy is coke”
4:C3 Focusing is a bit easier, but then not. J. is talking to me and he says when I was a kid. And I say what? When you were a kitten??
5:C3 Drunken feeling, hard to do what you’re doing.
5:C3 Drunken stupor.
4:T PM: Felt like I shouldn’t be driving. Everything felt disconnected.As much it all felt fuzzy at the same time it was very clear. Felt like I was tripping on acid - it was all crisp around the edges, but beyond my focus was blurry. I could hear every sound very acutely - my senses were all very acute.
Tired but not like wanted to sleep, just like I wanted to sit still. Even though it was an effort to concentrate much, I could focus on playing a video game - the visuals and sounds combined were very appealing.
Tired/Unmotivated:
4:C1 Feels very tedious.
4:C1 Tired, starry, zoned, sleepy.
4:C1 Very yawny, starry.
3:1 Exhausted. I have lots of meeting and errands and I just want to rest and watch a movie.
4:1 After I took the remedy I immediately felt spacey and out of it
4:1 Not much going on as far as thoughts, my mind is very blank, not clear, but blank.
4:1 Very tired but not sleepy, I just want to lay down and put my feet up, turn on the TV and watch mindless crap.
4:1 I feel like I am sleepwalking thru the day
4:2 I am still very out of it and very tired. I did not want to get up this morning. All day I was very spacey, very weary too. Little tasks were hard to stay focused on, phone will ring and if I am doing something else I forget about it.
4:2 I am soooo tired, my limbs are tired and I am finding myself sighing a lot.
2:3 I have a kink in my neck and I feel irritable and mildly emotionless, with no real motivation to do anything let alone something productive. The mere act of writing this journal has made me irritable.
3:3 I am not very motivated to get things done.
4:3 All day I was extremely tired, fatigued, and at one point it was hard to even keep my eyes open.
2:4 Tired today and a little bit of a headache. Good otherwise, work is a distraction from the headache.
4:4 Still spacey.
4:5 Today seemed to drag even though it went by fast… I don’t know if it was bc I am excited to be driving to go on vacation for 5 days if bc I am still so out of it that I can concentrate in much which is making things feel like they are dragging out.
2:6 I went to the gym today for the first time in a year and I am very tired. I guarantee I will be sore tomorrow but other than that I am fine
4:6 We spent the afternoon and evening on the beach and I was pretty good today… not very spacey but I am still fatigued.
4:6 I got to sleep in today! Yay! The fatigue has been the worst thing…
5:6 Not a lot of energy.
5:8 Feel tired this morning (a lot of strenuous activity yesterday).
4:11 Today being back in the office and having to be organized, the “out of it” is still lingering a little! Maybe I didn’t notice a lot because I was on vacation?
5:14 Less driven/determined than I usually am.
Water:
:6 I didn’t want to go in the water and usually I like the water. I didn’t want to get wet.
4:7 I didn’t journal today… from what I can remember my feet still hurt, and I am tired. Still not crazy about the water even though I went in because it was so hot.
Dreams:
3:3 I slept well, dreamt that my children were very young and my husband took them to run errands, They were only supposed to be gone for a little while, but they were gone all day. There was a festival going on outside our home and I was waiting and waiting for the boys to return. They did not get back until the festival was over. I was disappointed and was yelling at my husband “Where were you all day! Why didn’t you come home! I have been waiting all day!” I turn and look at my son whose eyes were filling with tears and I say “Awwwww do not cry I am not mad”. But I felt left out.
4:3 I was very tired when I was going to bed, but I tossed and turned… had a dream I somewhat remember… it was in black and white and it was about ghosts… I kept seeing them flying thru the room… but not like figures, like the old drawings of ghosts flying thru a room on Halloween, like someone with a sheet on.
3:4 I slept well last night and dreamt that I was talking to my family via Skype, but instead of a computer it was an old fashion TV with rabbit ears and the image was in black and white. I had a feeling of being separated from them not just by space, but by time as well.
1:5 I had a dream last night, but I can barely remember it. I know it had something violent in it. I think I was in a car and got into a fistfight with someone outside the window or next to me, but I don’t know who it was or anything else that happened.
2:8 I had a dream last night that I was on a road trip with H and L and a friend from school. We were driving and smoking a lot of pot and I said it is too much, but I continued to smoke anyway and then woke up. Weird!!
4:8 I remember dreaming about quicksand. The thought of suffocating was terrifying!
3:10 I am having lots of fun dreams. Dreams of working together with my husband and the boys. Accomplishing things together.
3:11 I had a funny dream last night. My husband and the boys and I were hiking up this mountain. It was beautiful and sunny and when we got to the top the whole country side was covered in snow and it was very steep to get down. My husband and the boys took off like they were skiing and sped down the mountain and over this ridge to the right and went out of site. I was trying to catch them, but I was running instead of skiing. I fell and landed face first in the snow. I said….this is strange the snow is not cold. I laid there and fell asleep. I woke up and looked around and it was still very snowy everywhere. I said again ……this is weird I am not cold and the snow does not feel cold. I got up and found the ridge they had gone over and there they were at the bottom. I called to them and my husband motioned for me to come down. I slide down on my butt and when I got there we all laughed and hugged each other. Then my husband said…….now we have to go back up!! They sped up to the top easily and I was trudging up on my knees because it was so steep. I kept asking for them to wait for me.
Violence/Fighting:
:C1 Drawing of a huge octopus with a submarine in it’s grasp.
1:C1 Drawing of a guy with a full beard and blood shot eyes asking, “did I shoot the sheriff?”
1:C1 This battle of sea animals is a little weird.
3:C1 Punched N., then N. says “let’s move scissors so she doesn’t stab me”.
3:C2 J. punched me in the stomach.
3:C2 Nicole stabs her finger with the pen. What eh?
2:C3 Tells story of chef stabbing student in leg.
2:C3 Story of H. stabbing him with a compass in the leg.
2:C3 Story of stabbing someone with fork; stabbing on the leg with a compass. Hitting each other.
Sea Creatures:
1:C1 Drawing of a huge octopus with a submarine in it’s grasp.
1:C1 Drawing of a walrus with a cooking apron on holding a spatula.
1: C1 “my crazy Russian drinks your beluga whale under the table”
2:C1 All drawings of a fish with large sharp teeth.
2:C1 Conversation about giant squid, mermaids, selkies, 20,000 leagues under the sea, creating an army of water beasts.
Physicals:
Head pain:
:C1 Headache from nose to top of head.
4:C1 Headache like a skunk stripe down center of head
5:C1 headache in front of and on top of head
5:C1 Headache across forehead, frontal.
5:C3 Sharp pain in forehead, stuffy feeling.
4:1 Headache after dinner, like a skunk stripe up my forehead starting at my nose.
5:1 Pressure headache frontal and on top of head.
4:2 Headaches again! The skunk stripe on and off all day. Woke up with the same headache, it has not gone away since it started. It doesn’t get any worse but is a constant. For the past few days I have just learned to live with it.
5:2 Frontal headache – pressure.
5:3 Head feels constricted, vice-like pain around forehead, passed within 15-20 minutes.
2:4 Tired today and a little bit of a headache. Good otherwise, work is a distraction from the headache.
4:4 Woke up with the same headache, it has not gone away since it started. It doesn’t get any worse but is a constant. For the past few days I have just learned to live with it.
4:5 Woke up with the headache still, it is less than it has been.
5:6 Headache frontal and top of head.
5:9 Frontal headache – pressure.
5:12 Frontal headache. Headache – frontal and top of head.
Vertigo:
:C1 Fuzziness, spacey feeling, feeling of not seeing clearly.
3:C1 Dizziness, wooziness, then in stomach.
3:C1 Swaying - dizzy, like motion sickness.
3:C1 Whoa, whoa, whoa a spinning.
3:C1 Stomach not feeling well. Sick to stomach. Dizzy and woozy and sick to my stomach. Like I am on a boat sea sick. Swaying dizzy like I have motion sickness. Like I have a dough ball just lying in my belly. Whoa – Whoa - Whoa. Spinning.
3:C1 Vertigo, not spinning but swaying, motion sickness. Wave sensation, seasickness. Woo-woo feeling, unsteady.
4:1 Vertigo, slight, comes and goes.
3:2 Feeling woozy.
5:11 Dizzy feeling only for a few seconds.
5:13 Dizzy – unbalanced feeling.
Hearing:
:C2 Sounds distorted.
3:C2 H. is speaking to me and I hold my hand to my ear and say What? Eh??
4:C2 Hearing distorted. Not hearing well. A feeling of being woozy still. languageand communication. Like I am not part of the group or understanding the group.
5:C2 Hearing impaired, can’t make distinction of sounds.
Smell:
4:C1 Metallic smell.
Face:
:C1 Teeth feel ok but rest of face feels distorted; lip piercing feels as though protruding.
4:1 Twinges in my jaw on right side
4:4 I noticed today that my jaw has been very tense.
Mouth:
3:C1 Tingling and prickling in the tongue.
3:C2 Roof of mouth sore.
Teeth:
3:C1 Can’t wrap lips around teeth.
3:C1 Sensation of having buck teeth, that my lips won’t close around teeth. Face feels distorted, feels like lip piercing is protruding.
C2 Talking about teeth, old people and teeth.
Taste:
4:C1 Metallic taste back of nose/throat area.
4:C1 Smell, taste on tip of tongue, doesn’t taste good.
Throat:
3:C1 Heavy throat, pressure base of throat, fullness.
3:C1 Sharp prickly feeling in back of throat.
3:C1 Feels like swallowed something that is prickly in the back of throat.
3:C1 Heavy pressure at the base of my throat with fullness.
3:C1 Sharp prickly feeling in the back of my throat like I swallowed a hook.
4:C1 Weird stuff in back of throat.
5:C2 Thickness in throat as soon as Tirturation began.
5:C3 Constriction in throat with heart racing.
3 1: When I eat at times it is like there is something stuck in my throat.
Stomach:
1:C1 “Cookie dough and sugar sound delicious”
2:C1 Heavy feeling, like eating a dough-ball.
3:C1 Stomach - not feeling so great.
3:C1 Sick to stomach.
3:C1 Stomach - just ate huge dough ball, sitting in stomach.
3:C1 Dizziness, wooziness, then in stomach.
3:C1 Stomach not feeling well. Sick to stomach. Dizzy and woozy and sick to my stomach. Like I am on a boat sea sick. Swaying dizzy like I have motion sickness. Like I have a dough ball just lying in my belly. Whoa – Whoa - Whoa. Spinning.
4:C1 Heavy stomach.
4:C1 Nauseous, burpy.
5:C1 Nauseous feeling stomach and up to throat.
5:C1 Definite wave of nausea.
5:C1 Feeling in stomach just moved up to throat.
5:C1 wave sensation, sea sick
4:C2 Headache and nausea coming back.
3:C3 Not liking the spicy food.
3:C3 Food doesn’t taste good; appetite is off.
4:C3 Meat is very appealing but everything else is “meh”.
4:C3 Sweet tooth.
4:C3 Hunger is back, munchy.
4:C3 Nausea, like coming off of mushrooms. “wonder if the remedy is coke”
5:C3 Drunken feeling. Seasickness, feeling of swaying as if in a boat.
4:1 Nauseous, it comes and goes throughout the day
4:1 Ravenous appetite out of the blue, I ate 2 pieces of pizza when I can only usually eat one, craving meat
3:2 My stomach is very off. I could not eat dinner. I had terrible indigestion, which I do not think I have ever had. Lots of belching. I wanted fruit and ate a bowl of peaches, pineapple, strawberries and blueberries with yogurt and cinnamon. Which is really weird because I am not much of a fruit eater especially with yogurt! But it tasted good and made my stomach feel better
4:2 I have been very burpy too… I felt soooo full and gassy after I ate dinner and had a little indigestion.
5:2 7:00 am – small wave of nausea after arising.
5:2 Slightly upset stomach after breakfast (scrambled eggs).
5:3 Slight nauseous feeling right after getting up, but it passed quickly.
3:3 I had an appetite tonight. We had fish and it tasted amazing. I wolfed it down!
4:3 Woke up in the middle of the night with heartburn and took a Tums
5:4 Nauseous feeling after breakfast (scrambled eggs again).
5:5 Upset stomach. Nausea.
6:6 8:00 am – Woke up – wave of nausea.
More nausea after breakfast.
4:6 My appetite is kind of gone, and when I eat I get very bloated and gassy and burpy.
5:7 Nausea after breakfast.
4: 8 I am still getting bloated when I eat and still a little gassy
5:10 Nausea.
5:13 7:30 am. – woke up – nausea.
Male:
2:C3 Discussion of a South Park episode. A man has huge testicles due to testicular cancer. He is bouncing on his balls…… hippidy hop. His testicles are so huge he has to carry them in a wheel barrow.
Female:
2:1 Got pretty bad menstrual cramps, lasted about 3 hours but then went away completely
Chest:
4:C2 Heart palpitations.
5:C2 Palpitations, heart racing feeling.
5:C2 Heart palpitations.
5:C3 Heart is racy again, sick feeling in throat.
Back:
:3 I realize that my cervical spine aches., It was aching during the proving and yesterday as well.
Extremities:
:C1 Lack of coordination, spilling water on oneself.
4:C1 Can’t decide of right or left handed.
4:C1 Clumsy, don’t really know my body.
2:C2 I spill water on myself
4:C2 Feel like I should be walking on my toes.
4:C3 Very clumsy, stubbed my toe while sitting down.
Extremity Pain:
:C2 Fingertips very sensitive.
4:1 Hands and feet are very tired, my limbs feel weak too, sweeping was making my arms tired
3:3 My right hip is stiff and sore. I do not want to work out.
4:4 My feet have been achy. The outside of them, it is the area of you were to trace your finger down from the base of your little toe to just below your ankle bone.
5:4 Burning in both feet up into shins.
5:4 Tingling/numbness toes Right foot.
4:6 My feet are really hurting today, we were on the beach but not long enough and I didn’t walk long enough in the sand that it may have been why… they hurt when I walk and ache when I am still.
2:7 As I suspected I am very very sore today and I cannot really move my arms. I have to go to work today and that is going to suck. Oh well………
2: 8 Still really sore. I feel like every tendon in my body is sore and tight and it is really hard to extend my arms.
2:9 I feel like I am going to be sore for the rest of my life, even though I know I will be fine at some point. I really do not want to go to work today.
2:10 I do not have work today so I slept until 2 and I am still sore.
Sleep:
3:2 Slept really soundly and did not dream. Unusual for me.
4:1 I slept really well, very deep sleep, 8 hours, I didn’t want to wake up or get up, it took me a long time to feel like I was “awake”.
4:2 I have been sleeping so soundly that I don’t remember any of my dreams.
4:3 Slept like shit… I was very tired when I was going to bed but I tossed and turned…
4:4 Slept really well, I do not remember dreaming at all because I slept so soundly
4:5 It is a little easier to wake up today.
4:8 Slept in again today. Slept like shit last night. I was very hot and couldn’t get comfortable. I remember dreaming about quicksand. The thought of suffocating was terrifying! I woke myself up because it was very uncomfortable.
This remedy is available at Helios pharmacy:
www.helios.co.uk
The pumpkinseed sunfish was caught in a freshwater pond in Montour Falls, New York, USA. Parts used in the trituration were fin, scale, skin, flesh and blood. June 27, 2010 Buffalo NY.
Commentary:
During the trituration proving, the group was very giddy, laughing and joking. Even though provers expressed some violent tendencies and intolerance of each other, as the trituration continued, the group laughed and was light-hearted about it. One prover punched another impulsively and both broke out in laughter. The conversations and drawings were of stabbing, punching, fish with large teeth, an octopus destroying a submarine, fights, and battles, but the general mood around it was light. Though the provers seemed intolerant of each other at times, everyone had “sunny” dispositions.
The proving also reflects a strong dynamic of connection and disconnection within the group of provers. There was a strong desire to be connected to a group and work as a group, and, conversely a feeling of being disconnected or left out. This theme is borne out in the full two weeks of the proving and especially in the dreams. During the trituration one prover had the sensation of being in another room separated from the rest. The feeling of being disconnected because of distortions in hearing and an inability to communicate well or understand what others were saying was quite pronounced.
Sally has a successfully prescribed this remedy for an Alzheimer’s case where the client had a very “sunny” and kind disposition. Everyone around her would remark on what a sweet and lovely person she was. However, her daughter related that her mother had been extremely cruel to her and her siblings during their childhoods. Her mother had high expectations and would “punish them with a belt with a smile on her face”.
Louis Klein teaches that cannibalistic fish may very well be good remedies for Alzheimer’s and other disorders of the brain. Fish are well known as “brain food” due to a high content of omega-3 oils, but that is not the only reason for this association. Cannibalism is quite prevalent amoung fish and the connection between prion diseases and cannibalism is well known (e.g. kuru-kuru, mad cow and chronic wasting disease). Some researchers also postulate a connection between prion diseases and other kinds of brain pathology such as Alzheimers and Parkinson's because of the similarities in brain protein malformation. In this particular remedy, the mental symptoms of Alzheimer’s and similar brain disorders are present, in particular the difficulties in memory, concentration, speaking, and comprehending language. The remedy's unique quality is - hidden cruelty masked by a “sunny” disposition.
Five provers ages 20 to 55. Three females and two males.
Proving code: Prover, trituration potency (C1, 2 or 3).
Prover, day.
Mind:
Frustration/Intolerance/Irritability:
4:C2 Intolerance of the other provers. Irritation during the trituration.
4:C3 Intolerant of one of the provers, when she talks about anything serious all I can think is “just shut the fuck up”
3:1 I have lots of meeting and errands and I just want to rest and watch a movie. Feeling intolerant of my husband. He is asking e questions and I said don’t ask me questions. Shut up!!!
1:2 Normal routine in the morning, but I went to the NFTA for 2 hours before work. Got everything I needed for work, but when I came back to get my bike I had to wait outside the store because it wasn’t open yet. The bike was fixed, but the inner tube that I got was punctured when I got it. I got another and that one exploded. It was really frustrating because I just want my bike running again.
3:2 Really intolerant of clients. My assistant told me that one of my clients said she was doing well and should she cancel her appointment and I said I do not give a fuck she can do what she wants. REALLY unusual for me!
3:2 Really intolerant of questions. Don’t want to be disturbed.
4:2 I am also finding myself intolerant of people, and it is becoming a pattern of people who are self-centered martyrs! My patience is kind of short too, but not in a get mad, blow up kind of way, I just don’t want to hear it, I find myself thinking a lot, oooo shut up already! Or jeeeeezuz Christ are you serious?
2:3 I have a kink in my neck and I feel irritable and mildly emotionless, with no real motivation to do anything let alone something productive. The mere act of writing this journal has made me irritable.
4:3 I am more intolerant today, and a little more emotional about it but not vocal still. I do not want to talk to anyone, I will sit with them in the room but to engage in conversation is hard, I just don’t want to hear it and it is hard to fake it! I feel emotionless, unless it is intolerance, I can feel the emotion inside but I feel like it won’t come out.
3:4 This morning while I was taking a shower I was thinking about how these provings are such a group effort. How if one person does not carry his weight it effects the whole proving. I am feeling angry that J. may not be doing the work it takes to make this successful. Then I thought about how intolerant I was of D. and how she was the weakest link and how she could not put her stuff aside to make this successful.
4:4 I do not want to be social with anyone and it is hard to fake a smile. We are leaving for vacation tomorrow and I am ready to go! I am ready to get out of my surroundings. For the past 4 days I have not really been emotional at all, even with the intolerance. I don’t want to hear it, I don’t have anything to say, but on the inside all I have been thinking when I do get intolerant is SHUT UP! Or I get very fed up and just do what I need to do and not talk. I feel lackadaisical about everything.
1:6 The day was pretty brutal. It was extremely hot and I was working on very little sleep, so I was tired and cranky at work.
1:7 I went to a party tonight for the fourth of July, but showed up really late because the car I was in got in a fender bender at a gas station. This was pretty annoying because the guy whose car was hit refused to just get the information and insisted on calling the police. We waited for about two hours, but because it was the fourth of July, they never came.
1:8 The night was all right, I was in a bad mood by the end of it, not positive why, I just may have been tired and a little ready to go to bed.
4:8 Intolerance has turned to impatience. Not explosive impatience. Impatience like no one is doing anything right and I will just do it by myself to get it done right.
1:14 Some friends joined us for the movie, but generally we all just chilled around the house. I was a little annoyed when everyone else started hanging around us and watching the movie.
Accepting/Relaxed/Indifferent:
5:C2 Sitting back, taking in whole group and conversation.
5:C2 Went form very silly, laughing to really laid back, relaxed.
1:2 Pretty bored at work due to all the filing. I ended up smoking a little bit of weed and worked out. Afterward I hung out with J. and some friends. We called it a night and went to bed.
4:2 I am really feeling like I just don’t care… and I don’t want to even express anything… my partner and I were driving home from the meeting and she was stating her concerns about some stuff that was said at the meeting and I didn’t even care to respond, I was silent, just sat there. I feel like I can’t find my emotions… any other time I woulda been all worked up and talking and bitching about what she was saying and this time, I just can’t even find that. So we drove in silence
4:3 I am zoney still, very spacey, very blasé about pretty much everything… I am normally a laid back person/personality, but I feel extremely laid back all the time.
1:4 I started to house sit today. I am going to take care of two dogs and two cats while staying in the house. So, I stayed there and everything was nice. Quiet household and I spent the night just hanging around the house relaxed.
3:4 Really good day at work. Really busy, but took my time and did not feel pressure. I thought you know if I do not get the remedy I can just chill out and it will come to me. In fact I was so relaxed I let a client go over by a half hour while another client was waiting. Felt like things were easy and flowing……..one client into the next.
5:4 Overall calmness where I’m not racing to get jobs done.
3:6 It is a very beautiful day and I am feeling so relaxed and appreciative. My life, my home, the weather, my kids, my friends…………
1:7 I woke up and did the normal with the dogs, then went back to sleep until about noon. I barbecued with some friends at three and just hung out in the hot tub and back porch all day until I had to take care of the dogs. A nice relaxing day!
5:10 Mild tempered – not too much bothering me – feel pretty at ease.
5:10 Feel shaky – hurried when things get busy at work – nervous feeling, but more relaxed in the sense that I don’t worry if things don’t get done.
5:11 Lacking determination – hard to get moving at anything – not even sure what I want to get started with.
Communication/Comprehension/Concentration:
4:C1 Trouble with articulation.
2:C2 Head like an empty bubble – was going to say something but can’t remember what.
4:1 People are talking to me and I know the words, but I don’t understand what they are saying, I have to ask anyone talking to me to repeat themselves.
4:1 Having trouble remembering what I am doing… start something and drift off to do something else, staying on task is difficult.
4:1 Small things like alphabetizing files are a chore and takes a lot of focus.
5:1 Head feels like its “swimming”
5:1 Feel scattered and unorganized.
5:2 Noon – Absentminded – pressing the unlock button on my car keys when I was actually going to be riding in someone else’s car!!
4:2 I am asking people to repeat themselves a lot, I hear the words but they are totally different from what is being said. I am finding it hard to explain things as well… get thoughts out… I go to say something and I stop because I can’t find the words even though I have a loose grip of what I want to say.
4:2 I am not big on conversation or engaging anyone in conversation, I would much rather sit in silence, and my brain is blank, not much going on in there!
5:3 Discombobulated – have to consciously think about what I need to do at work.
5:3 Very scattered, delayed reaction with jobs that I do recurrently.
5:3 Still thirsty, tongue thick, seems like I mix up words when speaking (thinking of two different ways to say something and it inevitably comes out wrong)!!
4:4 We went shopping and I couldn’t really stay on track of what we needed to do. While we were at the store I felt like I was wandering aimlessly and L. had to keep me on track.
4:4 I am very unorganized. It isn’t until these past couples days, but especially today that I realized how organized I am because I have been such a scatter brain and unorganized that I am driving myself crazy! Tasks are still a challenge.
4:6 We spent the day getting our stuff together and getting to the beach house. We went grocery shopping and even though I was wandering around I could focus on what the task was.
5:5 Mixing up letters of words so that statements come out wrong!! (embarrassing).
3:7 Woke up great. It was the 4th of July and my husband and I went to Ellicottville for the day. I was having a hard time understanding him all day. When we were at brunch I asked him if he wanted anything to drink he said yes a “Vodka” , when the waitress came by I said “I would like a Mimosa and he would like a vodka”. My husband said “what?? I wanted ice water!” Then later we were at a store and I said “what ya looking at”……..I thought he said “toasters”, but he said “posters”! It was like that all day. I was constantly not hearing him and saying WHAT?? And when I did hear him, I heard him wrong.
3:9 Work is busy and that is good, but I am very distracted. I feel like my articulation is off. I speak and the other person is asking what?? What?? I get kind of annoyed and just say forget it.
5:10 Forgetful – left my work keys at home (I never do that)!! Walked into the office to get a book I needed and walked back out without it. Oblivious.
4 pm……..More absentmindedness – caught myself putting my turning signal on in the car just to go around a curve????? Driving along in 4th gear – not even thinking to put it in 5th when it should be???
5:11 Forgetful – can’t remember things from minute to minute.
5:11 Very scattered “air head” feeling. NOON: Feel like there is a delayed reaction with everything – it takes a minute for things to register in my brain!!
5:12 Scattered – can’t manage things the way I usually do. Have to think about which direction I’m headed in the grocery store. Less worried about time or being late for things.
5:14 Hard to focus and pay attention – my thoughts are scattered and jumping from one thing to the next.
Group/Connection/Separation:
5:C1 Feel removed from the crowd though here and part of it, like an outsider looking in, like looking through a window.
1:C2 Singing the Wall by Pink Floyd (all in all your just another brick in the wall).
1:C2 Group solidarity.
1:C2 How groups function, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. 4-1=3 but by working together it=6. Working in a group some tasks can only be done by a group. Example, passing buckets to put out a fire instead of running back and forth to the river.
1:C2 Getting a urge to play rugby right now.
1:C2 The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
3:C2 All in all were just another brick in the wall.
4:1 I feel very disconnected from my body, like it is functioning on pure instinct of how to do things, how to walk, how to use a computer, how to pick up keys, how to do daily routine things
4:2 I had to go to a meeting last night and found myself sitting in the middle of the room but not really caring what was going on around me… I didn’t want to be talked to or have to talk… this is a group of women I am usually very outgoing with… I laughed when someone was funny but kind of felt like I wasn’t really there.
3:3 I slept well, dreamt that my children were very young and my husband took them to run errands, they were only supposed to be gone for a little while, but they were gone all day. There was a festival going on outside our home and I was waiting and waiting for the boys to return. They did not get back until the festival was over. I was disappointed and was yelling at my husband “Where were you all day! Why didn’t you come home! I have been waiting all day!” I turn and look at my son whose eyes were filling with tears and I say “Awwwww do not cry I am not mad”. But I felt left out.
3:4 This morning while I was taking a shower I was thinking about how these provings are such a group effort. How if one person does not carry his weight it effects the whole proving. I am feeling angry that J. may not be doing the work it takes to make this successful. Then I thought about how intolerant I was of D. and how she was the weakest link and how she could not put her stuff aside to make this successful.
3:4 I came home and asked my son to mow the lawn. He gave me crap “Now??……Do I HAVE to???” I said no problem I’ll do it. I wasn’t mad or upset. I just went out and did it. I felt like, wow too bad he feels like that, he is missing out, missing out on helping to get this thing done. It is SO much fun to do things together.
3:4 I slept well last night and dreamt that I was talking to my family via Skype but instead of a computer it was an old fashion TV with rabbit ears and the image was in black and white. I had a feeling of being separated from them not just by space, but by time as well.
3:5 Got home and sat on the porch with friends and ate and drank until 9. I had a lot of fun. I am feeling like my life is really good. That I am part of this neighborhood. As long as I do not talk about anything that means anything to me, everyone is ok!
4: 4 I noticed tonight as well that I am very clingy, I want to have my arms wrapped around her and her arms wrapped around me all the time. I just want to nestle into her chest. When I get “wandery” and drift off, I found myself looking for her and wanting to cling to her.
4:6 Now that I think about I am still not feeling very social. I am not being unsocial, but I am not going out of my way to engage anyone.
5:6 Not feeling very social – making conversation is an effort – feel disconnected.
3:8 Today is the holiday and we just worked on the house. I have been loving working together with my husband on projects. It is a great way to spend time together. The weather has been wonderful.
3:10 I am having lots of fun dreams. Dreams of working together with my husband and the boys. Accomplishing things together.
3:12 Nothing much today. Except there is a box in the foyer that has TEAM on the side spelled out like this;
T Together
E Each
A Accomplishes
M More
I have been drawn to it. That is how I have felt at times during this proving, like together we can accomplish more, with a sense of happiness and joy.
But also there is a feeling of being separated and left out. Feeling outside of things that I want to be a part of.
Spacey/Druggy/Slowness/Poor Comprehension:
1:C1 A lot of laughing/giggling, everyone acting is acting high.
1:C1 Trippy, lots of laughter.
3:C1 Slowness, comprehension is slow.
3:C1 Feeling slow, like I have a slowness comprehending. Then its like whatever. I don’t care. Spacey, fuzzy
4:C1 Clarity though a spacey feeling.
4:C1 Taking lots of concentration.
4:C1 Feel like I am tripping in acid.
4:C1 Slowness to comprehend, very drug like state, like coming down from a “high” or “trip”.
5:C1 Here but not here, not catching it [the discussion]; not seeing clearly.
4:C1 Trouble with articulating speech, words coming out empty like a cartoon bubble. “Ditzy”
5:C1 Spacey feeling, like not catching everything.
5:C1 Hard to pinpoint anything.
5:C1 Spacey - hear what’s going on but hard to comprehend. Hearing background, but kind of like an outside observer.
5:C1 Feel have to concentrate hard to do something simple.
5:C1 Feel oblivious, drugged, things happening around you.
5:C1 Moving in slow motion.
5:C1 Comprehension difficulties – has to be focused on grinding but can’t really hear what is going on, as if in a different room. Hard to focus on doing one thing. Feels oblivious, drugged. Like coming down off of a high.
2:C2 Head like an empty bubble – was going to say something but can’t remember what.
3:C2 Language and communication from pronunciation.
4:C2 Sensation of blank cartoon bubble again. Enough in my mind to keep my mind busy but not enough of significance to be able to be formed into words by my mouth.
5:C2 Everything feels like an effort.
5:C2 Staring.
5:C2 Delayed reaction.
5:C2 Zoney, hard to focus and concentrate.
5:C2 Slow reactions.
5:C2 Drunken feeling.
5:C2 Hard to navigate.
1:C3 Feeling kind of dazed now.
1:C3 Story of a roommate that has no depth perception.
1:C3 3-D TV
2:C3 Auditory processing is off, misunderstanding words.
3:C3 Nicole - hajaka? What did she say? That is how I am hearing words.
4:C3 Everything is feel is very drug related, like form mushrooms, coming down for a mushroom high.
4:C3 Nausea, like coming off of mushrooms. “wonder if the remedy is coke”
4:C3 Focusing is a bit easier, but then not. J. is talking to me and he says when I was a kid. And I say what? When you were a kitten??
5:C3 Drunken feeling, hard to do what you’re doing.
5:C3 Drunken stupor.
4:T PM: Felt like I shouldn’t be driving. Everything felt disconnected.As much it all felt fuzzy at the same time it was very clear. Felt like I was tripping on acid - it was all crisp around the edges, but beyond my focus was blurry. I could hear every sound very acutely - my senses were all very acute.
Tired but not like wanted to sleep, just like I wanted to sit still. Even though it was an effort to concentrate much, I could focus on playing a video game - the visuals and sounds combined were very appealing.
Tired/Unmotivated:
4:C1 Feels very tedious.
4:C1 Tired, starry, zoned, sleepy.
4:C1 Very yawny, starry.
3:1 Exhausted. I have lots of meeting and errands and I just want to rest and watch a movie.
4:1 After I took the remedy I immediately felt spacey and out of it
4:1 Not much going on as far as thoughts, my mind is very blank, not clear, but blank.
4:1 Very tired but not sleepy, I just want to lay down and put my feet up, turn on the TV and watch mindless crap.
4:1 I feel like I am sleepwalking thru the day
4:2 I am still very out of it and very tired. I did not want to get up this morning. All day I was very spacey, very weary too. Little tasks were hard to stay focused on, phone will ring and if I am doing something else I forget about it.
4:2 I am soooo tired, my limbs are tired and I am finding myself sighing a lot.
2:3 I have a kink in my neck and I feel irritable and mildly emotionless, with no real motivation to do anything let alone something productive. The mere act of writing this journal has made me irritable.
3:3 I am not very motivated to get things done.
4:3 All day I was extremely tired, fatigued, and at one point it was hard to even keep my eyes open.
2:4 Tired today and a little bit of a headache. Good otherwise, work is a distraction from the headache.
4:4 Still spacey.
4:5 Today seemed to drag even though it went by fast… I don’t know if it was bc I am excited to be driving to go on vacation for 5 days if bc I am still so out of it that I can concentrate in much which is making things feel like they are dragging out.
2:6 I went to the gym today for the first time in a year and I am very tired. I guarantee I will be sore tomorrow but other than that I am fine
4:6 We spent the afternoon and evening on the beach and I was pretty good today… not very spacey but I am still fatigued.
4:6 I got to sleep in today! Yay! The fatigue has been the worst thing…
5:6 Not a lot of energy.
5:8 Feel tired this morning (a lot of strenuous activity yesterday).
4:11 Today being back in the office and having to be organized, the “out of it” is still lingering a little! Maybe I didn’t notice a lot because I was on vacation?
5:14 Less driven/determined than I usually am.
Water:
:6 I didn’t want to go in the water and usually I like the water. I didn’t want to get wet.
4:7 I didn’t journal today… from what I can remember my feet still hurt, and I am tired. Still not crazy about the water even though I went in because it was so hot.
Dreams:
3:3 I slept well, dreamt that my children were very young and my husband took them to run errands, They were only supposed to be gone for a little while, but they were gone all day. There was a festival going on outside our home and I was waiting and waiting for the boys to return. They did not get back until the festival was over. I was disappointed and was yelling at my husband “Where were you all day! Why didn’t you come home! I have been waiting all day!” I turn and look at my son whose eyes were filling with tears and I say “Awwwww do not cry I am not mad”. But I felt left out.
4:3 I was very tired when I was going to bed, but I tossed and turned… had a dream I somewhat remember… it was in black and white and it was about ghosts… I kept seeing them flying thru the room… but not like figures, like the old drawings of ghosts flying thru a room on Halloween, like someone with a sheet on.
3:4 I slept well last night and dreamt that I was talking to my family via Skype, but instead of a computer it was an old fashion TV with rabbit ears and the image was in black and white. I had a feeling of being separated from them not just by space, but by time as well.
1:5 I had a dream last night, but I can barely remember it. I know it had something violent in it. I think I was in a car and got into a fistfight with someone outside the window or next to me, but I don’t know who it was or anything else that happened.
2:8 I had a dream last night that I was on a road trip with H and L and a friend from school. We were driving and smoking a lot of pot and I said it is too much, but I continued to smoke anyway and then woke up. Weird!!
4:8 I remember dreaming about quicksand. The thought of suffocating was terrifying!
3:10 I am having lots of fun dreams. Dreams of working together with my husband and the boys. Accomplishing things together.
3:11 I had a funny dream last night. My husband and the boys and I were hiking up this mountain. It was beautiful and sunny and when we got to the top the whole country side was covered in snow and it was very steep to get down. My husband and the boys took off like they were skiing and sped down the mountain and over this ridge to the right and went out of site. I was trying to catch them, but I was running instead of skiing. I fell and landed face first in the snow. I said….this is strange the snow is not cold. I laid there and fell asleep. I woke up and looked around and it was still very snowy everywhere. I said again ……this is weird I am not cold and the snow does not feel cold. I got up and found the ridge they had gone over and there they were at the bottom. I called to them and my husband motioned for me to come down. I slide down on my butt and when I got there we all laughed and hugged each other. Then my husband said…….now we have to go back up!! They sped up to the top easily and I was trudging up on my knees because it was so steep. I kept asking for them to wait for me.
Violence/Fighting:
:C1 Drawing of a huge octopus with a submarine in it’s grasp.
1:C1 Drawing of a guy with a full beard and blood shot eyes asking, “did I shoot the sheriff?”
1:C1 This battle of sea animals is a little weird.
3:C1 Punched N., then N. says “let’s move scissors so she doesn’t stab me”.
3:C2 J. punched me in the stomach.
3:C2 Nicole stabs her finger with the pen. What eh?
2:C3 Tells story of chef stabbing student in leg.
2:C3 Story of H. stabbing him with a compass in the leg.
2:C3 Story of stabbing someone with fork; stabbing on the leg with a compass. Hitting each other.
Sea Creatures:
1:C1 Drawing of a huge octopus with a submarine in it’s grasp.
1:C1 Drawing of a walrus with a cooking apron on holding a spatula.
1: C1 “my crazy Russian drinks your beluga whale under the table”
2:C1 All drawings of a fish with large sharp teeth.
2:C1 Conversation about giant squid, mermaids, selkies, 20,000 leagues under the sea, creating an army of water beasts.
Physicals:
Head pain:
:C1 Headache from nose to top of head.
4:C1 Headache like a skunk stripe down center of head
5:C1 headache in front of and on top of head
5:C1 Headache across forehead, frontal.
5:C3 Sharp pain in forehead, stuffy feeling.
4:1 Headache after dinner, like a skunk stripe up my forehead starting at my nose.
5:1 Pressure headache frontal and on top of head.
4:2 Headaches again! The skunk stripe on and off all day. Woke up with the same headache, it has not gone away since it started. It doesn’t get any worse but is a constant. For the past few days I have just learned to live with it.
5:2 Frontal headache – pressure.
5:3 Head feels constricted, vice-like pain around forehead, passed within 15-20 minutes.
2:4 Tired today and a little bit of a headache. Good otherwise, work is a distraction from the headache.
4:4 Woke up with the same headache, it has not gone away since it started. It doesn’t get any worse but is a constant. For the past few days I have just learned to live with it.
4:5 Woke up with the headache still, it is less than it has been.
5:6 Headache frontal and top of head.
5:9 Frontal headache – pressure.
5:12 Frontal headache. Headache – frontal and top of head.
Vertigo:
:C1 Fuzziness, spacey feeling, feeling of not seeing clearly.
3:C1 Dizziness, wooziness, then in stomach.
3:C1 Swaying - dizzy, like motion sickness.
3:C1 Whoa, whoa, whoa a spinning.
3:C1 Stomach not feeling well. Sick to stomach. Dizzy and woozy and sick to my stomach. Like I am on a boat sea sick. Swaying dizzy like I have motion sickness. Like I have a dough ball just lying in my belly. Whoa – Whoa - Whoa. Spinning.
3:C1 Vertigo, not spinning but swaying, motion sickness. Wave sensation, seasickness. Woo-woo feeling, unsteady.
4:1 Vertigo, slight, comes and goes.
3:2 Feeling woozy.
5:11 Dizzy feeling only for a few seconds.
5:13 Dizzy – unbalanced feeling.
Hearing:
:C2 Sounds distorted.
3:C2 H. is speaking to me and I hold my hand to my ear and say What? Eh??
4:C2 Hearing distorted. Not hearing well. A feeling of being woozy still. languageand communication. Like I am not part of the group or understanding the group.
5:C2 Hearing impaired, can’t make distinction of sounds.
Smell:
4:C1 Metallic smell.
Face:
:C1 Teeth feel ok but rest of face feels distorted; lip piercing feels as though protruding.
4:1 Twinges in my jaw on right side
4:4 I noticed today that my jaw has been very tense.
Mouth:
3:C1 Tingling and prickling in the tongue.
3:C2 Roof of mouth sore.
Teeth:
3:C1 Can’t wrap lips around teeth.
3:C1 Sensation of having buck teeth, that my lips won’t close around teeth. Face feels distorted, feels like lip piercing is protruding.
C2 Talking about teeth, old people and teeth.
Taste:
4:C1 Metallic taste back of nose/throat area.
4:C1 Smell, taste on tip of tongue, doesn’t taste good.
Throat:
3:C1 Heavy throat, pressure base of throat, fullness.
3:C1 Sharp prickly feeling in back of throat.
3:C1 Feels like swallowed something that is prickly in the back of throat.
3:C1 Heavy pressure at the base of my throat with fullness.
3:C1 Sharp prickly feeling in the back of my throat like I swallowed a hook.
4:C1 Weird stuff in back of throat.
5:C2 Thickness in throat as soon as Tirturation began.
5:C3 Constriction in throat with heart racing.
3 1: When I eat at times it is like there is something stuck in my throat.
Stomach:
1:C1 “Cookie dough and sugar sound delicious”
2:C1 Heavy feeling, like eating a dough-ball.
3:C1 Stomach - not feeling so great.
3:C1 Sick to stomach.
3:C1 Stomach - just ate huge dough ball, sitting in stomach.
3:C1 Dizziness, wooziness, then in stomach.
3:C1 Stomach not feeling well. Sick to stomach. Dizzy and woozy and sick to my stomach. Like I am on a boat sea sick. Swaying dizzy like I have motion sickness. Like I have a dough ball just lying in my belly. Whoa – Whoa - Whoa. Spinning.
4:C1 Heavy stomach.
4:C1 Nauseous, burpy.
5:C1 Nauseous feeling stomach and up to throat.
5:C1 Definite wave of nausea.
5:C1 Feeling in stomach just moved up to throat.
5:C1 wave sensation, sea sick
4:C2 Headache and nausea coming back.
3:C3 Not liking the spicy food.
3:C3 Food doesn’t taste good; appetite is off.
4:C3 Meat is very appealing but everything else is “meh”.
4:C3 Sweet tooth.
4:C3 Hunger is back, munchy.
4:C3 Nausea, like coming off of mushrooms. “wonder if the remedy is coke”
5:C3 Drunken feeling. Seasickness, feeling of swaying as if in a boat.
4:1 Nauseous, it comes and goes throughout the day
4:1 Ravenous appetite out of the blue, I ate 2 pieces of pizza when I can only usually eat one, craving meat
3:2 My stomach is very off. I could not eat dinner. I had terrible indigestion, which I do not think I have ever had. Lots of belching. I wanted fruit and ate a bowl of peaches, pineapple, strawberries and blueberries with yogurt and cinnamon. Which is really weird because I am not much of a fruit eater especially with yogurt! But it tasted good and made my stomach feel better
4:2 I have been very burpy too… I felt soooo full and gassy after I ate dinner and had a little indigestion.
5:2 7:00 am – small wave of nausea after arising.
5:2 Slightly upset stomach after breakfast (scrambled eggs).
5:3 Slight nauseous feeling right after getting up, but it passed quickly.
3:3 I had an appetite tonight. We had fish and it tasted amazing. I wolfed it down!
4:3 Woke up in the middle of the night with heartburn and took a Tums
5:4 Nauseous feeling after breakfast (scrambled eggs again).
5:5 Upset stomach. Nausea.
6:6 8:00 am – Woke up – wave of nausea.
More nausea after breakfast.
4:6 My appetite is kind of gone, and when I eat I get very bloated and gassy and burpy.
5:7 Nausea after breakfast.
4: 8 I am still getting bloated when I eat and still a little gassy
5:10 Nausea.
5:13 7:30 am. – woke up – nausea.
Male:
2:C3 Discussion of a South Park episode. A man has huge testicles due to testicular cancer. He is bouncing on his balls…… hippidy hop. His testicles are so huge he has to carry them in a wheel barrow.
Female:
2:1 Got pretty bad menstrual cramps, lasted about 3 hours but then went away completely
Chest:
4:C2 Heart palpitations.
5:C2 Palpitations, heart racing feeling.
5:C2 Heart palpitations.
5:C3 Heart is racy again, sick feeling in throat.
Back:
:3 I realize that my cervical spine aches., It was aching during the proving and yesterday as well.
Extremities:
:C1 Lack of coordination, spilling water on oneself.
4:C1 Can’t decide of right or left handed.
4:C1 Clumsy, don’t really know my body.
2:C2 I spill water on myself
4:C2 Feel like I should be walking on my toes.
4:C3 Very clumsy, stubbed my toe while sitting down.
Extremity Pain:
:C2 Fingertips very sensitive.
4:1 Hands and feet are very tired, my limbs feel weak too, sweeping was making my arms tired
3:3 My right hip is stiff and sore. I do not want to work out.
4:4 My feet have been achy. The outside of them, it is the area of you were to trace your finger down from the base of your little toe to just below your ankle bone.
5:4 Burning in both feet up into shins.
5:4 Tingling/numbness toes Right foot.
4:6 My feet are really hurting today, we were on the beach but not long enough and I didn’t walk long enough in the sand that it may have been why… they hurt when I walk and ache when I am still.
2:7 As I suspected I am very very sore today and I cannot really move my arms. I have to go to work today and that is going to suck. Oh well………
2: 8 Still really sore. I feel like every tendon in my body is sore and tight and it is really hard to extend my arms.
2:9 I feel like I am going to be sore for the rest of my life, even though I know I will be fine at some point. I really do not want to go to work today.
2:10 I do not have work today so I slept until 2 and I am still sore.
Sleep:
3:2 Slept really soundly and did not dream. Unusual for me.
4:1 I slept really well, very deep sleep, 8 hours, I didn’t want to wake up or get up, it took me a long time to feel like I was “awake”.
4:2 I have been sleeping so soundly that I don’t remember any of my dreams.
4:3 Slept like shit… I was very tired when I was going to bed but I tossed and turned…
4:4 Slept really well, I do not remember dreaming at all because I slept so soundly
4:5 It is a little easier to wake up today.
4:8 Slept in again today. Slept like shit last night. I was very hot and couldn’t get comfortable. I remember dreaming about quicksand. The thought of suffocating was terrifying! I woke myself up because it was very uncomfortable.
This remedy is available at Helios pharmacy:
www.helios.co.uk
